When I woke up this morning there were 2 things on my mind. My first thought was "did I actually sleep through the night?" And my second thought was "I forgot to write my blog post for yesterday"
I was too busy enjoying my day off and binge reading one of my favorite book series' so sue me.
Shortly after I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I looked at the messages on my phone and noticed there were more than the usual 1 or 2. That was when I discovered that someone I went to high school with had committed suicide. After a brief bout of Facebook stalking, I realized it was true and I was angry.
I'm angry because no one should go through the hard times alone. I'm angry because there was nothing I could have done. I'm angry at all the people posting about what a good person he was, and how they were going to miss him. If he was so great, why didn't you make the time to be there for him? Why didn't you know something was wrong? It's not their fault, and I know that but it still angers me.
I'm not going to pretend to be sad that he's gone. He's someone I knew the first couple years of high school. I dated him briefly, but he was a friend and my best friend Alex's boyfriend long before that. (I know, I know). We reconnected about 2 years ago for a short while, but drifted apart again because we led completely different lives. I hadn't spoken to him since. The most interaction we had was liking each other's Facebook statuses. Both of us were completely different people than we were back then and neither of us knew each other anymore. It's just that simple.
Yes, it sucks that he killed himself and it's sad that he had to go through the depression. But he made his decision. He wasn't murdered, he didn't die of natural causes or in a freak accident. He made the decision to end his own life.
I'm not sad. I don't pity him. I think he's stupid, and selfish. He had friends, he had family, and the decision he made effects them too. Suicide is never the answer. There's always help out there, waiting. You just have to ask.
You may not agree, but you don't have to. This is how I feel.
I hope you, dear reader, never ever get so depressed that you end your life. I hope you never suffer in silence. All I can tell you, is that there are people who want to help you. Those closest to you, and people you don't even know.
We have but one life to live, so make it a good one. Get help if you need help. Cry, scream, be mad, but never be so selfish as to end your own life before you've had a chance to live.
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